A good weekend of work

We are officially moved out of the apartment and into the house, chickens and all!

This weekend yielded a lot of progress outdoors, but I forgot to take pictures while the sun was up!  We built the first of what will be three chicken runs... this one is 40'x40', and the coop will open up directly into the run.  We are going to put gates on either side of it that open up into two other runs that we have yet to build so that we can rotate the grazing/scratching/pooping that the chickens do.  That will enable the yards to rest and be reseeded with grass every so often.  We want to put some kind of cover over the center yard to make it more predator resistant so that when we want to go away on a weekend, the girls can go in and out of the coop at their leisure without being at risk for getting eaten.  The perimeter fencing is 5; high, dug into the ground about 5", with 8' Tposts dug in about 16". We're debating chicken wire (BIG project, expensive and difficult but the most safe for the girls), fishing line (cheap and easy, but only really effective for hawks), and cargo netting (perhaps a happy medium, but we're not sure what the cost would be).

Honeybunch took a chainsaw to one of the trees we felled, and we hauled the logs into the barn to dry.  We ordered a really nice garden cart from Lehman's, and after today's task we are REALLY looking forward to its arrival. 

I dug the first of the garden beds that will go in the paddock in front of the barn.  We are going to have some compost and top soil delivered, and we're going to mix it in with the native clay soil and build mounded beds.  The paddock area is full sun, and free from the plague of black walnut trees.  We're going to plant our perrenials there (asparagus, strawberries, red and black raspberries, blueberries, blackberries), and still have some room to spare for a small annual veggie garden for this year.  We're going to terrace the hill that the house sits on and make that our large vegetable garden, but we've come to terms with the fact that it probably won't get done this year. 

Inside, it's pretty chaotic, with boxes in various states of unpacking all over the place.  Despite that, it's starting to feel like home.  I've been nesting like crazy.  I've never enjoyed hanging curtains so much before.  There is a lot left to do, as you can see from the messiness of the following photos, but bit by bit we're figuring out where we want things to go and how to best organize each room. 

Honeybunch's workshop/office space, already in use!

The main bathroom... vanity painted white instead of that awful wood... still need to do the light fixture though!

Fish tank is moved in and set up, looks like everyone survived the trip.

The bedroom is coming together nicely, but we need to find a better spot for the shotgun, me thinks :)

10 IKEA wine racks put together by yours truly and filled (mostly) with our homemade wines.

The dining room

Awesome metal shelving unit/baker's rack thingie... will be more organized when we get a hanging pot rack.

Almost all of that stuff on the counter is my spices... newly built spice shelves are stained and drying, waiting to be mounted on the wall next to the window there.

Our fridge :)

One of the things that made me most happy this weekend... I found airtight plastic containers that fit a good amount of flour, sugar etc (our bulk 5 gallon buckets just don't fit in the kitchen anywhere) that fit into the drawers!  Hurray!

That's all I've got for you folks tonight.  I'm sore and sleepy!

Here are the visuals

To be humane.

Monday was the day our new chickiechickiepeeperpants clan members arrived in the US Mail.  We were excited, as we are every spring when it's time to set up the brooder and cradle little baby chicks in our hands.  We found that McMurray simply forgot to send  four of them.  We also found one of the four Mille Fleur chicks to be in really bad shape.  She was droopy and lethargic upon arrival, and within an hour was sprawled out and writhing, struggling to breathe.  I had to end her suffering.  She was barely awake, and having never broken a neck before (and afraid I wouldn't do it correctly), I chose to drown her.  She passed without a struggle.  It was still horrible.  It wasn't until a couple hours later that I was alone in a quiet place and felt the weight of what I'd done, and then I sobbed.

The rest seemed fine, and spent the night eating and drinking and hopping around the brooder, peeping their hearts out.  However, yesterday's "pasty butt" inspections revealed that one of the Araucana rooster chicks had some sort of anomaly in his GI tract.  Below his normal looking vent was a wad of dried poop... when I removed it, it revealed another opening below his vent, with little tiny intestines bulging out of it, leaking blood and fecal matter.   I know enough about anatomy to know this wasn't good.  There was not anything we could do to fix it... with feces and blood in the abdominal cavity and a non-functional vent, it was only a matter of time before the infection set in for a long, slow death... or before the other chicks pecked him to death. 

The little boy was otherwise acting normal, and being so alert it would not have been humane to drown him... he'd have struggled awfully.  Since the day before, I'd looked up how to wring a chicken's neck so I'd be better prepared.  But when it came to it, Honeybunch ended up doing it.  We walked down to the stream, and thankfully it was an instantaneous. There, and then not there. Little yellow feathers.We both cried.  It was harder for me to watch Honeybunch do it, to see the pain he felt in performing the act, than I think it would have been for me to do it myself.

Today, I found one Golden Polish dead in the brooder.  I found the other lethargic, but arousable and still able to stand.  I doubt she'll make it, but I dipped her beak in the water, placed her right under the heat lamp, and had to leave for work.  I'm hoping for the best, but feeling discouraged and depressed and defeated.  We've been raising chicks for three years and have never lost a little one.  The temperature in the brooder is right, there's plenty of food and water and clean bedding, we cuddled them and started naming them and they're still dying.  I have to assume that something happened in transport to the Golden Polish and the Mille Fleur.  I also have to hold out hope that this is the end of our losses, because I don't know how much more of this I can take.

The act of taking an animal's life, even in mercy, is horrible to me.  I don't think I'll ever be able to do it to yield food.  I've been vegetarian for more than five years, and at times I think about a rare steak with A1 sauce and my mouth waters... but when it comes down to it, I don't think I can kill simply for the pleasure of that meal.  I dread this part of the lifestyle I am choosing.  I know that it's worth it, that to raise healthy and happy animals who live good, full lives... and who help to feed you by laying eggs or producing milk... is enough of a positive to justify these painful moments... but it is very, very hard.

Another quickie update:

We've been busy up here, and I'm currently using the internet via a wireless card, a temporary solution until either Comcast or Verizon decides that they can hook us up out here in the boonies.  The house is becoming a home.  Honeybunch's birthday was today, and we celebrated with a wonderful Morrocan meal with friends and family.  Moved in the bed and the cats, starting to unpack a few boxes... it's all going swimmingly.  Honeybunch is soldering very very tiny chips and things onto a circuit board he designed for an LED hoop, and it's raining outside and the peepers are singing.  There is a flock of wild turkeys gobbling sporatically in the woods behind the house.  It's a good life.

I swear pictures will come soon!

A quickie...

... before I run off to work, a quick update:

I got the ER job!  Full time, starting May 2nd!  So excited to learn everything I'm going to learn there.

The flooring in the bedroom is in, just need to put down the quarter round and the piece for the doorway and it's DONE.

We have TWO pairs of mallards in our pond, they were double-dating for breakfast this morning.  Plus we saw a giant blue heron the other morning, and some tadpoles sprouting legs :D

Almost ALL of the trees in the back of the property are black walnuts, so most of the acreage is a no-go for gardening.  But we have other ideas, and I'll post about them when I have a bit more time.

Another weekend over

It went by waaayyy too fast, and I feel like we didn't get nearly enough done.  I'm fighting a growing sense of panic with the realization that I have berry bushes, strawberry plants, asparagus, and more apple trees arriving this week, and no ground prepared for planting them.  It looks like we're going to have to build raised beds... our soil is sticky, nasty, wet clay... not good at all for gardening.  That's fine, but it's another time consuming (and expensive!) project that needs doing pretty much right now.  *Takes a deep breath*.  It will all get done, right?

We felled a few trees this past weekend, using the chainsaw my mother bought us as a housewarming present.  It was certainly easier than using a bow saw, but still hard work!  Honeybunch and I are both quite sore.  We finished painting the kitchen this weekend too, and it is almost completely scrubbed down and ready to move into.  I need to scrub one last cabinet and the fridge and we're set to go. For some reason other people's food grime grosses me out something awful, so I'm very happy to be rid of the sticky cabinets and crumbs in the drawers!

Before:

After!!

I think the red warmed the room up nicely!

The bedroom is painted and scrubbed, and I love how the color turned out.  We bought the flooring to lay down this upcoming weekend.  Honeybunch bought a miter saw and we're borrowing a friend's table saw to get it done. 


Before:

After!

I had to hang these stained glass window ornaments as soon as I'd finished washing the windows.  My aunt made them decades ago, and they have always meant "home" to me.  And check out our outdoor firepit, we're ready for the first bonfire with friends now!

I work tonight, then have off tomorrow night and will begin painting the office upstairs.  The ceiling, trim, and walls all need to be painted (why anyone would paint a room a nasty beige-y brown from floor to ceiling, I'll never know).  Work again on Wednesday, then back to the house Thursday through Sunday to paint, lay flooring, cut up wood, and HOPEFULLY begin building raised beds if we can find affordable materials.  I'm looking for corrugated metal roofing to avoid expensive cedar and toxic pressure-treated lumber... wish me luck!

A busy week.

When we did the walk-through before settlement last Friday, the furnace wasn't working.  The oil tank had run dry (again), and we wrote up a contingency with the sellers that if after a delivery of oil the furnace still didn't work, they'd pay for the repairs since it was functional at the time of the inspection.  So, oil was delivered on Tuesday, still doesn't work.  Hoping it just needs a bit of maintainance (get the burner cleaned, etc).  The seller is supposed to get someone out there to handle it today or tomorrow.  Luckily the weather hasn't been too cold, so the plumbing is all in tact... but it surely is an inconvenience.

We finished painting the bedroom last night, and moved another carload of boxes in.  Honeybunch bought a miter saw so we can tackle the installation of the laminate flooring.  After we finished painting last night, we sat outside in the drizzling rain sipping a plastic cup of homemade wine and listening to the quiet.  It is SO quiet out there.  There are no busses, no highways, no neighbors or people talking loudly on their way home from the local bar at 2am... we didn't even see a single car drive past.  All we heard was the rain, the creek, and the wind in the trees.  It was blissful.

Tonight I work a 12-hour shift, then go directly to a hospital near the new house for an interview.  I'm supposed to arrive in scrubs because I'll be shadowing a nurse in the ER... I don't know how long that will take, but I'm figuring that I'll crash out on the massage table at the new place with a space heater on rather than brave the hour drive back to the apartment after such a long day with no sleep.  I'm really hoping that they offer me this job.

I'll update again after we've made some progress this weekend!

Homeowners!

Well it's Monday, and I return to work tonight after a weekend of working on our home.  What an amazing feeling it is to put your own sweat and muscle into transforming a place into YOUR place. 

My mother and sister joined us on Saturday to help tear out carpets and to see the place.  They both love it and promise to be regular weekend visitors.

Apparently that's a paw paw tree!

Mallards that like to hang out in our pond, hoping for ducklings this Spring!  We also saw turtles, and the sellers told us that blue herons like to frequent the pond as well.

It was so nice to just walk the grounds and listen to the babbling of the stream.

 

The first floor bedroom was our top priority.  We tore up the carpet in here, next to go is the foam pad.  We'll be ordering the laminate this week.  We put on the first coat of paint, too.. I'll take photos when it's all done.

Our super fancy new reverse osmosis filter system, installed by Honeybunch under the kitchen sink.

We plan to paint the kitchen walls a deep crimson, leaving the ceiling and trim white.  

I'm looking to find some metro-style shelving to put in the corner where that box is to expand our pantry space.

This room will probably serve as our dining room.  We're going to paint it a bright happy green. 

It also has a laundry space.  We'll hang doors there after we install a washer and dryer.

The great room may stay the way it is, there is only a small section of wall that is not logs and we'll probably leave it that cream color for now.  Before the end of summer we're going to put in a woodstove.

Overall, settlement was a bit of mess, with some hiccups on the seller's end.  The furnace was not functional during our walk-through that morning, and it seems that the sellers let the oil tank run dry again.  So we're getting oil delivered this Tuesday, and we wrote up a contingency at settlement that if the furnace doesn't work once we have oil in it, the sellers will pay to have it fixed.  Luckily, the weather has not dipped below freezing, so all the plumbing is still in tact.  Seeing just how much 200 gallons of oil costs was enough to make the investment in a woodstove all the more attractive.

We had heavy rain for two days before settlement, so we got to see just how wet the basement gets during such a storm.  It wasn't bad at all, an inch of water in the deepest places, and by the next morning it was almost entirely dry.  We'll probably put in a sump pump just to be on the safe side. 

We took down one of the dead trees in the way of our future garden plot, with some elbow grease and a bow saw.  We'll be borrowing a friend's chainsaw for the rest of them, but there was something deeply satisfying about felling a tree with your own muscle.  We're going to have plenty of firewood for this fall and winter by the time we're done clearing the plot.  

This week's priorities are scheduled around work, my interview for the ER nurse position, and a "yay, you bought a house!" party from our community here at our apartment.  We're going to finish painting the bedroom, office, kitchen, and dining room.  We're going to get the last of the foam pad up from all the formerly carpeted floors, and shop vac the heck out of the place.  We're going to order the flooring for the bedroom and office, and possibly begin installing it this weekend. We're going to be sore, and it's going to be awesome.

Hurray for nesting!

well, that's done.

We just bought the house.
Holy crap.
Okay.  Gotta process this.

Trauma!

I got a call to set up an interview at a hospital 20 minutes from the new house for a position as a nurse in their Emergency Room.  It's a huge, 600+ bed hospital with a Level II Trauma Center.  The prospect of training and working in that environment is very exciting to me.  I figure that if a job is going to beat me up as badly as nursing does, it had better at least be exciting.  They provide one-on-one orientation with an experience preceptor, lots of certifications and specialty training, etc... which is good given that I have only a bit over a year of acute care experience under my belt, and a tiny bit of self-doubt in the back of my mind about transitioning to emergency nursing so early in my career.

Despite that fact, my rational brain thinks I'll do well in the ER... this past year or so of working on telemetry/PCU has prepared me well, and I'm now truly confident in my abilities when it comes to handling crises.  Bleeding out from the rectum with a blood pressure of 60/40?  Severe crushing chest pain with a positive troponin and cool, clammy skin?  Blood sugar of 35 and unresponsive despite multiple amps of D50??  I'm cool as a cucumber.  Trauma is a different can of worms from what I'm accustomed to, but the principles are the same, and I have no problem handling large amount of blood and guts.  I'm sure that with some training and time to adjust, I'll be able to do an excellent job of it.

I'm interviewing on St. Patrick's Day, and was told to wear scrubs so that I can shadow a nurse in the ER and get a feel for how it goes.  I'm counting on the luck of the Irish to help me put my best foot forward after working a 12-hour shift the night before!

Gathering supplies, and a sneak peek...

Today we took a road trip to the Tractor Supply (closest one is about 45 minutes from where we live now), with Good Neighbors in tow.  We wanted to pick up a few things to prepare for the arrival of our chicks in early April, and price out some items that we'll need for the homestead.  We came home with new muck boots, lopers, pruning shears, a saw, two large metal cans for feed, chick starter and grit, grit for the grown-up girls, pine bedding, and a wire egg basket (I'd been lusting after one for a while now... too often I end up carrying eggs in my hands and pockets and drop one or two trying to open the door!).  We priced out chainsaws, fencing and t-posts, and garden carts. 

I get so much more excited about going to the Tractor Supply than I do going to the mall.   In fact, I hate going to the mall.  Being surrounded by useless overpriced plastic crap and ugly clothes made by underpaid children in the third-world just depresses me.  But Tractor Supply is full of useful things, many of which bear a "Made in USA" sticker.  That makes me glad.  Not to mention the tub full of baby ducklings, all yellow fuzz and tiny orange webbed feet sleeping in a pile under a heat lamp.  I came very close to stuffing my sweater full of them and running out the door.  The cuteness was unbearable. 

The Tractor Supply also happens be only 15 minutes from the new house, so we obviously couldn't resist taking a little drive in the rain to see the place without snow for the first time.  We walked the grounds a bit, feeling where the soil is boggy and where it is well drained, watched a mated pair of mallards float lazily in the pond, listened to the stream rush over the rocks, saw a trio of deer run through the woods and over the crest of the western hill.  We found the remains of a wild turkey strewn about, its bones picked clean by whatever creature made it a meal, it's lovely feathers scattered in the grass and brush. 

All were beautiful reminders of the kind of life we're going to live "out in the country".  I felt a deep sense of peace walking those grounds.  It also affirmed the fact that $400 in fencing we're going to need to keep our chickens and garden safe from the wildlife is a good investment.  Here in the (urban)suburbs, hawks are only critters that really pose a threat to the girls, and our decoy owl has done a fine job of keeping them at bay.  The biggest threat to our garden has been the digging of dogs in the raised beds (and slugs!).  But at the new house the girls will brave a whole host of predators prowling the woods and fields.  Rabbits and groundhogs will happily raid my carefully planned garden if given the chance.  I am delighted with the bountiful wildlife we'll live with, but I'll be more delighted if they remain on the right side of a fence!

Five days until we go home.

A bit better...

This past week at work was very, very busy... but a bit less chaotic than the week before.  I am grateful for that.  I am still looking for work at other hospitals, ones closer to our soon-to-be homestead.  I found one listing for a Labor and Delivery room nurse position... the chances of me even getting an interview as a green nurse are slim, but I remain hopeful. 

Yesterday I mailed the check for our first year of homeowners insurance.  I feel like a real grown up now.  Today I will choose a company for our garbage collection and set up an account with them.  We'll set up our electricity and internet accounts, get a cashier's check for the closing costs, and we're good to go.  This next week is going to feel like a very, very long week.  I can't believe it's all really happening for us. 

I'm going to try out the Mother Earth News online Garden Planner and see how I like it.  They have a free 30-day trial offer, and I figure I could use all the help I can get.  This is the first time that I'll be gardening long enough in one place to employ crop rotation... and while it's a simple enough concept, I really do need to be organized enough to know what I planted where for several years back in history. I enjoy the process of taking a pencil to graph paper, but in my quest to stay organized as we make our fresh start, I am willing to employ some technology if it proves useful.

Tonight we're going to make a decision about what flooring we want to install in those rooms with carpet (yuck!), and I'll probably order our reverse osmosis water filter system as well (lead levels in the water are higher than they should be, as to be expected in an old house with older plumbing).  I am very curious as to whether the manual water pump out in the barn is functional or not.  The home inspector said (after glancing at it... we didn't get the barn inspected) that it appeared to be of a design that returns all the water from the pipe back down underground after you close the pump to prevent it from freezing.  It would be lovely if that pump worked, as it would save us the trouble of lugging water out to the barn every morning!

Once we close, we're going to collect water samples from that pump (if it works), as well as the pond, to send for analysis.  This will let us know if the pump water is safe to give our animals, and if the pond water is safe for stocking with fish and waterfowl.  We'll also send soil samples for analysis of nutrients, and to look for trace heavy metals (just in case), before we choose where we plant our fruit trees and garden, and if we till the soil directly or build raised beds with screened top soil.  I'm hoping we'll be able to dig into the soil itself, as topsoil is expensive as heck to buy.  We'll also need to find a source for high quality compost, as we have none to work into the soil this first year.  I'm hoping that won't be too difficult, given the number of farms in the area. 

I can't wait to get started on all of these projects... only 7 more days until it can begin.  And only 16 days until the Vernal Equinox.  Life is good, folks.

Final orders are in...

... and my palms were sweating a bit as I hit the "submit order" button.  Trees are expensive!  But I consider this an investment in our future and our food security... and for the cost of about 1.5 months of groceries, we are purchasing bushels and bushels of food for years to come. 

From Miller's Nursery, I ordered:

50 Ozark and 50 Tribute strawberry plants
3 Heritage, 3 Latham, 3 Bristol and 3 Allen raspberry plants
2 Ivanhoe, 2 Atlantic, and 2 Herbert blueberry plants
25 SuperMale and 10 Purple Passion asparagus plants
1 BlackGold standard cherry tree
1 Summer Rambo semi-dwarf apple tree
1 Sops of Wine semi-dwarf apple tree

From Jung's, I ordered:

2 Composters http://www.jungseed.com/dp.asp?pID=53150&c=212&p=Garden+Gourmet+Composter I intend to set these side by side, with one for "fresher" compost material and one for "finishing" material. 
1 Sunlight calculator to determine how much light different areas of the property receive.
1 bag of soil acidifier, for those blueberry bushes!

Add to this my Gurney's order of:

1 standard Gala apple
1 standard Liberty apple

and we have the beginnings of our orchard.  I would have loved to have added some anjou pears, some asian pears, peaches, a plum tree or two, lots of ferns and an entire vineyard's worth of grape vines... but it was just not practical to do so.  The vineyard will be next year's project, after we've done some more research on pruning and trellis construction.  Stone fruits are fickle and prone to disease, and I'd like a year or two of successful fruit tree pruning and maintainance under our belts before we attempt to grow peaches without spraying the heck out of them. 

One step at a time, we're going to build ourselves a working homestead that provides us with sustainable, affordable, and healthy food year round.  What a concept.

A teaser

Yesterday felt like early Spring.  I woke up before dawn (working night shift makes my sleep schedule on days off very unpredictable), started a loaf of bread, and put in a few job applications.  By the time the sky was light, it was pouring heavy rain and the chickens were looking at me from the door of the warm, dry coop like it was all my fault.  I told them to pretend to be ducks and be happy it wasn't snow.  A few hours later it was drizzly with intermittent breaks of brilliant, sparkling sunshine, the temperature was 60 degrees, and wind gusts were up to 60mph.  I'll take it. 

I'm anxious to start some seeds, but can't justify doing so when I don't even have the location picked out for our veggie garden at the new house.  I have an idea of where it might go, but I need to get the soil tested, figure out exactly how much sun it gets, measure the square footage of the spot, till it, enrich it with compost. Then I have to lay out beds and paths, and finally fence it.  I doubt I can get all of that done in time for planting any long-season crops like 'maters, on top of clearing and planting the orchard and berry patch. 

There is a lot of good work ahead of us, between fixing up the house, barn, greenhouse, and gardens.  I'm trying to prepare for it and not get myself into trouble by planning to do too much.

In other news, Honeybunch constructed two pairs of fire fans for us this past week.  A very talented friend of ours is going to start teaching fan dancing workshops, and we're excited to learn.  Fire fans are a prop I've always wanted to play with but haven't had the opportunity.  Now I find myself picking them up each time I walk by, spinning them on my fingers and tossing them in the air (clumsily, mind you... but I'll get better).  I think that learning to use a new tool is exactly what I need to free myself from the plateau I've been stuck on for months with my hoop.  New tools open up new patterns of movement in my body, and that will translate to the hoop eventually. 

I suppose my life is in some sort of balance.  I am extremely unhappy with work, but other things are going really, really well. 
Let's start with the good stuff.  I am immensely lucky in love, I am healthy once again, and things are moving along in the journey to owning our very own little homestead. The sellers have agreed to fix or write us checks for the stuff that came up on the home inspection report, and we are so relieved.  Thus far, the house-buying process has been stressful, but it could have been worse.  Buying a 210 year old house is risky in a lot of ways, but so far there haven't been any horrendous surprises that have made us doubt our choice.  We are both so ready to walk into that house, take a deep breath, and say, "we're home".  Two weeks from tomorrow, it's going to happen!

The new chicks we ordered should be arriving right around Honeybunch's birthday in early April.  I can't wait to hear their tiny peeps... it's a sure sign of Spring.  All that's left of our little flock is Popcorn (Sexlink), Bambi (Araucana), Marie (Barred Rock) and Lady Jane (Black Cochin).  The other five birds in the backyard right now belong to Good Neighbor, who is adjusting to the idea of taking care of them all alone.  In our hatchery order, we are going for good egg production, but a bit of the exotic and colorful, too... so we ordered:

2 Black Australorp pullets
3 Araucana pullets
1 Araucana rooster
1 Buff Cochin pullet
1 Golden Polish pullet
4 Silver Laced Wyandotte pullets

...and McMurray threw in a "free exotic chick" of an unknown breed (I wonder if this post will be blocked on some people's computers because of that phrase!).  We met the minimum with Good Neighbor's order (Blue Andalusians, Buff Laced Polish, Light Brahma, White Capped Black Polish) and a couple for StitchyWitchy (Golden Polish and Barred Rock).  It is wonderful to see both my "real life" friends and neighbors as well as the many bloggers I read online preparing for the upcoming growing season.  It feels like we're all going into this together, scribbling our "To-Do" lists in some demonstration of solidarity and community as winter draws to a close.

As far as work goes... I'd honestly rather not think about it.  We aren't being provided with the staff or the supplies we need to give excellent nursing care, and we're constantly berated for not "raising our patient satisfaction survey scores".  The higher-ups don't seem to understand the direct cause and effect relationship between having unsafe numbers of patients per nurse (7 and 8 patients per nurse means chaos even if they aren't all terribly sick) and having unhappy patients and unhappy nurses.  I'm frustrated, angry, and looking for a new job.  I'm also sipping a margarita with my breakfast (dinner?) as I write, decompressing from last night's 12.5 hours of absolute frenzy as I scrambled to push meds, complete paperwork, clean up feces, and effectively care for my patients' many complex needs.  It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers... I'm usually a very steady hand when it comes to high-stress situations... and last night I was nearly in tears.

I'm going to choose to think about baby chicks, honeybees, and what colors we might paint our new bedroom... goodnight/morning everyone.

Beehive complete!

Yesterday was a day well spent.  Honeybunch and I constructed our very first beehive, and if I may say so, it's a winner.

It took about four hours in total.  The directions called for nailing it together, but we used screws for the the body of the hive and a heavy duty staple gun to put together the frames.  My kitchen floor was covered in sawdust, my hands ached, but now our little ladies will have a place to live when they arrive in April.  All that's left to do is paint it. We're thinking a "Bambi Egg Blue", the light teal color of one of our Araucana's eggs. 

I'm feeling about 80% normal now.  I'm fairly certain my illness was in fact pneumonia.  My doc put me on some macrolide antibiotics and within 36 hours I was feeling like a new woman.  I still have a hard time clearing my chest first thing when I wake up, but it's nothing like it was, thank goodness. 

A little family-owned candle store that I worked at for several years in high school is closing, I just found out.  It had been there for decades, and was a landmark in my little hometown.  The owners are wonderful people.  Cathy was supportive of me when I went to college early, always interested in how I was doing in my schoolwork, always willing to work with my schedule, and she even make a little care package of really nice shea butter body products for my sister when she joined the Air Force.  She had never even met my sister. 

Her husband was a hilarious gentleman named Bob who loved the Beatles and the principles of independence and self reliance ("and it pisses me off that all of a sudden I turn 65 and I have to join up with this government healthcare program and lose my old coverage!!").  He unfortunately passed away several years ago from a stroke, only a year after receiving a lung transplant.  I still think of him often, and his spunky attitude that persisted despite his dependence on a portable oxygen tank.

It breaks my heart to see that place close, and not only because I've developed a serious dependence on high-quality essential-oil fragranced candles and rich shea butter soaps.  It's a sure sign of the hard times we're living in, and another stepping stone in the path that is laid for my hometown from independent small businesses to vacant storefronts and chain businesses.

Days later...

...and I'm still ill.  I started on a course of antibiotics under the assumption that I have pneumonia without a chest x-ray to confirm it, and with today being dose day #2 I'm feeling some modest improvements.  The crap I'm hacking up out of my lungs is coming up with less muscle-aching effort, and it's now clear instead of brown.  Huzzah!  My fever is gone, and the sore throat is waning (though I still don't have a voice to speak of). 

It's a full moon tonight, a Wolf Moon, and every part of me begs to be out playing beneath it.  Unfortunately, I'm just not well enough yet to take advantage of the 60 degree weather with a brisk barefoot run in the woods this evening, grinning and sweating and splashing through the muddy puddles of thawed snow and ice.  But I think I should be able to take a gentle stroll, with plenty of tissues in my pockets.  I'll try to not be too disappointed, knowing that this is just a teaser, and that there will be plenty of warm nights under the moon ahead with spring and summer approaching.  I'll content myself with a walk, and with a second night of sleeping with the windows open.

Three weeks from today we go to settlement.  We submitted our reply to the home inspection, requesting that the sellers complete treatment for the wood-destroying insects we saw evidence of, that they replace or repair the damaged windows, and that they replace the built-in dishwasher that apparently doesn't work.  The water testing came back with elevated lead levels, so we're going to install an under-sink reverse osmosis filter system for our drinking and cooking water.  I've started boxing up our books and trinkets.  The reality of the situation comes and goes for me... I don't think it's going to really feel REAL until we have the keys in our hands. 

We're getting together our hatchery order, and have almost met the minimum chick order of 25 for McMurray between our order and Good Neighbor's order.  As soon as another friend or two commit to at least 4 more chicks, we'll place that order and know that little fluffy peeps will be arriving in early April.  The house comes with a brand new chicken coop, strangely enough it had never been used and the sellers have no problem leaving it with us.  It's this one, actually, http://www.mcmurrayhatchery.com/4x6_coops.html , and it's just about the right size for our flock that will soon number 16. 

We've decided to wait to order the goslings.  With a new house, baby trees, bees, and chicks arriving all around the same time, we don't wait to bite off more than we can chew and have other living creatures suffer for it.  We also want to get the pond water tested before bringing in water fowl.  So perhaps later in the summer we'll order them, but if not there's always next year!

Worst patient ever.

Nurses really do make the worst patients.
That tickle in my throat evolved into "omg I'm going to die I can't stand this discomfort anymore" in a matter of hours.  Sore throat, post-nasal drip, tight chest, fever... I spent all of yesterday in bed, moaning and hacking up nasty stuff and eating popsicles.  I had to call out from work (the second time in two weeks, I can't believe it) because I was still febrile come evening time.  Today I'm a bit better, my fever is still hanging on (a nagging 99.2 degrees), but I'm going into work in a few minutes anyway, because I'm afraid they'll kill me if I miss another night. 

I feel so bad for Honeybunch when I get sick.  I am one of the most whiney, pain-in-the-ass sick people you can imagine.  I doubt he got any sleep last night for my tossing, turning, hacking, coughing, sniffling and sweating. 

In other news, our beehive parts arrived!  I'm hoping for good weather and good health this weekend so we can begin assembling it.

That's a lot of little wooden parts!

 I also placed one of our nursery orders, taking advantage of a sale at Gurney's, for a standard gala apple tree, a standard Liberty apple tree, and some lettuce and Roma tomato seeds.  I'm waiting to place the BIG one, our Miller's order, which will contain the rest of the fruit trees, berries and asparagus plants.  I've whittled it down to what I believe will require a manageable amount of space, work, and cash for our first year.  It was waaayyy too easy to get overexcited and want to order too much, too fast!

Well, I'm off to work... here's hoping that these 12 hours don't set me back in my progress towards wellness.

Uh oh...

The weather is supposed to warm up to 65 degrees on Friday.  This can mean only one thing.  Spring is on the way, you guess?  Nope.  Time to get back out to the woods to begin training for the mud run this summer?  Wrong again.  Seed-starting time?  Negative.

It means I'm getting sick.

Each time there's a swing in the weather like this, I'm sure to get sick.  And today I woke up nauseated, and I'm currently winding down my shift at work with a persistent tickle in my throat and a nagging dry cough.  I'm hoping it doesn't evolve into something dreadful, since I have more than 20 hours of work left in the next two days and no time to rest.... and with the nice weather moving in, I'd love to have a date with my Honeybunch running in the woods on Friday.  I'll start my herbal regimen and hope for this best when I get home this morning.

Oh yes, and Happy belated Valentine's Day.  I woke up to vases of orange gerber daisies and what I think are blue star sea holly.  Such a lovely little surprise.  We did not celebrate, given that I had to work a 12-hour shift.  We'll probably go out to dinner sometime this weekend for a treat, but Valentine's Day isn't a big deal to us.  We try to be loving and appreciative of one another on a daily basis... and the fact that the average American spends over $100/year on Valentine's Day merchandise kind of frightens me.

Bees!

I just placed our order with Draper's Apiary for 3 lbs. of Italian honeybees, a marked Italian queen bee, and all the necessary components of a hive and the equipment we need.  We're going to have bees this April.  It's really happening, isn't it?

Death

I've been fixated on the concept of death lately, and have been unable to shake the sadness associated with that train of thought. 
This past week I was pulled from my home cardiac floor to work on the general medical-surgical floor each night.  The hospital has been positively packed lately, and since most of the nurses working night shift with me now are relatively new, I'm the only one who could be pulled to another floor.  The patients on the med-surg floor tend to be less critical, so even when it's a busy night with four nursing students pulling me in all directions, it's still less tense than the cardiac floor.

There was a man, who was not one of "my patients" but who I was often in the room helping to turn and reposition in bed.  He was actively dying, and we were to provide only comfort care.  I don't know his diagnosis, or how old he was, or if he had any family.  I don't know what he did for a living, if he'd ever served in a war, or if he enjoyed reading mysteries.  All I know of him is what I saw over those three nights. 

He was unresponsive verbally, his eyes open and staring intently at the ceiling.  His breathing consisted of agonal, irregular gasps for air.  He looked like a fish out of water.  He grimaced with pain as we turned him from side to side every two hours in an effort to prevent his skin from breaking down, despite the slow, steady drip of morphine going in through his IV line.  His extremities were swollen and leaking fluid, a sure sign of his cardiovascular system shutting down.  His diaper was dry all night, evidence that his kidneys were failing.

Despite all of this, he was fighting the inevitable with everything he had.  He had been in this state for four days, hanging on and struggling to keep breathing as his body failed him.  Each time I entered his room to assist his nurse with a task, what I really wanted to do was hold his hand and sing quietly to him, tell him to let go, to let himself merge with the ebb and flow.  I wanted to tell him not to be afraid.  But I couldn't.  I couldn't let myself be that vulnerable at my job.  So I completed the tasks, gave his hand a gentle squeeze, bathed his sweaty brow, and went on about my business.  Days later now, I wonder if he's gone yet.  I wonder if telling him not to be afraid would have been hypocritical of me, given my own fear of death. 

I suppose it's not death that I fear, neccessarily.  More than anything, I'm afraid of losing the people I love, most specifically, my Honeybunch.  I fear that these few transient years we have together are all we get... that either there is no afterlife at all, or that in the lives following this one, we'll never find one another again.  Will we be sister bees in a hive one time around?  Will we be oak trees, growing side by side with our branches reaching out toward one another?  I hope so.  The idea of returning to an existence without him is unbearable.  We've agreed to die on the same day, but obviously we don't exactly have control over whether we can keep that promise. 

I'm sure that man had someone he loved.  Maybe they moved on before him, but I doubt it.  He was clinging to life so desperately that I imagine his love was still quite alive.  Maybe he feared the same thing that I do, and felt that the painful hours he was holding onto were worth it, to see his love for another day.  I just have to hope that before I find myself in his situation, that I've found more peace with the idea of dying than I have now.  I just have to hope that I have the many, many years of life with those I love that I think I will need to find that peace.

So for now, I bury the dying animals, comfort the dying people, and cry while I listen to Iron and Wine.


She says wake up, it's no use pretending
I'll keep stealing, breathing her
Birds are leaving over autumn's ending
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open
Naked as we came
One will spread our
Ashes round the yard
She says if I leave before you darling
Don't you waste me in the ground
I lay smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open

Naked as we came

One will spread our
Ashes round the yard

Goodbye Popcorn.

We lost another hen yesterday.  When I went to see the girls when I got home from work in the morning, there she was, settled down in the corner of the coop, her eyes closed and head bowed.  She looked like she had just gone to sleep.  I have no idea why she died.  She'd been feeling thin to me, but her appetite was good and she'd been as energetic as ever.  Honeybunch broke through the frozen ground and we buried her under the fig tree, next to Cerberus and the little Barred Rock, who we lost this past year to an impacted egg and a hawk. 

I must be becoming a farmer, because though I felt sadness and regret, I did not cry. 

Popcorn was top chicken, and ruled the roost.  She had some gender identity issues, and was known to mount her sisters (poor Lady Jane was often missing neck feathers for this reason).  But she was friendly, a reliable layer, and always the first to explore when something new came along.  I'm going to miss her spunky presence in the chicken yard.

Wednesday's Happy Card

Ten things that bring me joy!

1. Sleeping under many covers while flanked by three warm kitties.

2. The rare February day that rises above 40 degrees, teasing me with a taste of Spring.

3. Truly fantastic sushi frmo our favorite restaurant.

4. Gawdy red velvet whoopie pies.

5. Ignoring the fact that said whoopie pies supply me with half of my day's daily calories each.

6. The thought that in about 4 weeks, we'll be settling on our new home and DONE with the paperwork.

7. Outrageously large, perky pregnant bellies that look like giant beach balls.

8. Being able to *almost* pull my hair back into a little ponytail.

9. The arrival of my custom made wedding dress, which is absolutely gorgeous and only needs a few minor alterations for fit.

10. Kindly old ladies who smile and say thank you when you bring them chapstick, even though they're throwing up and feeling lousy.

Black Bean Soup

I'm longing for summer right now.  I miss being able to jog out to the garden and grab fresh hot peppers, tomatoes and salad greens for our dinner!  Luckily, this soup can be made just as tasty using the pickled hot peppers and homemade salsa in our pantry.  Our dear friend Treeman often makes a big batch of this when we come to visit him.  It's easy, spicy, wholesome, and delicious with a sprinkling of sharp cheddar and a dollop of sour cream.  I like to scoop it up with pieces of homemade bread or tortilla chips.


Black Bean Soup

2 or more jalapeno or other hot peppers, either fresh or pickled (I tend to use three or more, especially if using my pickled peppers, which lose a bit of their hotness in the brine)
splash of whiskey
1 tbsp olive oil
1 quart vegetable broth
1 pint of salsa
2 cans of black beans

Cook the hot peppers in the whiskey and olive oil until softened and the alcohol has evaporated.  Add the remaining ingredients, puree to a chunky-smooth texture with an immersion blender, and bring to a boil.  Reduce to a simmer and cook down until it reaches a nice creamy consistency, thick enough to mound up on a spoon a bit but not paste-y!  Serve hot with cheese and sour cream.

Disturbed sleep

I've had a hard time getting a decent night/day's sleep this whole week, and it's been catching up to me.  Yesterday we woke up after about four hours of sleep at 6am to get to the house in time for the inspection at 8am.  When we arrived, we found that the septic inspection couldn't happen because of the snow and ice.  We also found that the seller's hadn't filled the oil tank, so they ran out of oil after turning the heat on.  So, no heating check either.  And, because they ran out of oil, pipes in the kitchen froze.  No inspection of the kitchen and lower bathroom plumbing.  What a pain in the ass.  So, we're going to have to get the inspector out there again, at the seller's expense, to finish it up once they have it all up and running again.

Three freezing cold hours later, what could be done of the inspection was finished, and my blood sugar was probably about 40.  I was on the verge of panic for some sort of fuel to put in my bloodstream and keep my vital organs running.  If I don't eat a balanced meal of simple and complex carbs plus protein every four hours or so, this happens to me.  It's worse if I'm exercising, stressed, or cold.  I was all of those things yesterday during that inspection.  By the time we sat down at the table in the diner, my hands were shaking to the point where I could barely unwrap the straw to drink my orange juice.  It's a nasty feeling, but luckily the solution is a simple one, and about ten minutes into my meal I felt my mind starting to clear.

We got home around 12:30, and I was crashing out HARD.  I napped for 20 minutes before having to go to the dentist to get my last filling done.  The dentist is always a stressful experience for me... but it's gotten more stressful recently, as it seems I am becoming less and less sensitive to lidocaine.  I spent the better part of an hour fighting back a sense of panic, yet again.  I didn't get home until about 5pm because of errands and delays, laid down for ten minutes and then picked up Honeybunch from work.  At 7pm I was crashed out in bed, and stayed there until 3am.  A full eight hours of sleep, what a novel idea that is!  I woke up, started birdseed bread dough, went food shopping, filled my car tires with air... it's amazing what a good night's sleep can do to a person.  I actually feel like I can take on the day now.

A skating rink.

While I worked last night, the skies opened up again and dumped a thick layer of ice over our area.  When I did the old-lady-shuffle-waddle across the icy parking lot to my car this morning, I found it entirely encased in ice, doors frozen shut.  It took about 20 minutes of chipping away at it with my little ice scraper before I could safely pull out of my parking space.  Have you ever tried to scrape ice off of your windshield while standing on a sheet of ice and hanging on to an ice-covered car door handle for balance?  I'm certain that anyone observing my struggle was greatly impressed by the grace and dexterity with which I moved... feet sliding in opposite directions into a wide straddle, ice chips flying up and hitting me in the face as I hack away at the windows...

I pulled my back, got a massive headache, crawled home on the slick roads, parked on the street, slid half a block down the sidewalks, slid (again, gracefully, like an Olympic skier, I'm sure) down the steep snow-and-ice-covered gravel driveway, and soon after collapsed into bed with a heat pad on my back and a Naproxen dissolving in my stomach.  A few hours later I woke up, still in pain, and called out of work for tonight.  Yes, I feel crappy about doing that, but simply walking to the bathroom is painful, so I don't know how I'd manage working  a 12-hour shift.  It ain't happening.

At 3:30pm I wake up to a phone call from my mom.  Her car died at work this morning (!), she got a ride home from a coworker but then slipped on the ice (gracefully!  That's where I get it from!) in the driveway and fell on her face.  She now has an egg on her head, a few scrapes and a bump on the chin.  I told her take Naproxen (no, they did not sponsor this blog post, the stuff just really works), ice it for 20 minutes and call me.  She did, and reports that it's not getting worse, and she doesn't have any signs of a concussion, so we're gonna hold off on a trip to the ER unless that changes.  Oi vey. 

The lesson here?  Buy a decent pair of winter boots, keep Naproxen on hand at all times, and call to check in on your older friends and loved ones to make sure they're faring okay in this dangerous icy weather. 

And that damned groundhog had better be telling the truth when he says we're going to have an early Spring.

Go Away.

Seriously, ANOTHER winter storm? 
Go away, snow/ice/sleet/freezing rain!  I've had enough of your shenanigans for one season!  You are not welcome here, so go away, and leave us in peace (NOT in pieces on the side of the road)!

A Thrilling Saturday

We had a friend over Friday night, and after staying up late and drinking just a tad too much homemade wine, I slept in very, very late today.  I woke up just in time to eat, shower, and meet up with my sister and friends at 2pm for an hour and a half of ice skating.  It felt good to be out on the ice, as it had been about a year since I'd last skated.  I'm not an amazing skater or anything like that, but the sensation of gliding and building speed and warming up my muscles in the cold air just makes me smile.  Afterwards, Honeybunch and I got sushi (a very special treat!) from our favorite place, and not too long after that, I fell back asleep with a heating pad on my back. 

Yup, we're party animals over here. 

Now I have dough for baguettes rising in the fridge, cats are sprawled across the bed, and Honeybunch is working on hoop stuff at his desk.  If we're feeling really crazy a little later, we might watch a movie!!

We have the home inspection scheduled for this upcoming Friday morning, and an appointment with our mortgage broker Thursday evening.  Things are rolling along, frighteningly big checks are going to be written in the next couple of weeks, and we're picking out what breeds of baby chickies we're going to raise this Spring in our new home.  We're thinking of getting a pair of goslings as well!  The possibilities ahead of us are just now starting to feel real.

Thundersnow

When I drove the 45 minutes to work last night at 7pm for my 12-hour shift, it was sleeting and quickly turning to snow, and lightning and thunder were creating a dazzling show in the sky.  I managed to vroom-vroom my little Hyundai up the ice and snow covered gravel driveway, threw a shovel in the back, and drove s-l-o-w-l-y on the slippery and hazardous roads.  It was a busy night, and when several nurses and aides called out on our floor for night shift, two of the 3-11 nurses volunteered to stay and work double shifts simply to avoid having to attempt to drive home in the blizzard conditions.  By 11pm, there was about 9" of snow on the ground, and people were getting stuck on the roads, driving into ditches, etc.  It was then that I realized how lucky I was to have been scheduled to come in at 7pm... I would not have made it in had I left even an hour later than I did. 

By the time the snow had stopped and I took a break to go shovel out my car, well over a foot of crunchy, heavy snow had fallen over a layer of ice.  It was beautiful, calm, windless, and quiet in the pre-dawn darkness.  And as I fought my way through snow nearly up to my knees, I made a mental note to shop for a decent pair of winter boots once everything starts going on sale.  My little nursing sneakers were soaked by the time my car was clear, shoveled out and moved to a parking space that had been plowed!!

The drive home was hazardous as well, with slush, snow and ice on the smaller back roads that I need to take as I get closer to home.  I shoveled my way into a parking space on the street, shoveled my way down the sidewalk, shoveled out the poor terrified chickens peeking out of the coop door as though they'd woken up on another planet.  I convinced Honeybunch to work from home while the roads continued to be plowed and he's still hacking up some nastiness.  I showered, ate some baked oatmeal, and collapsed my weary self in bed.  I am so grateful to have tonight off from work.

Speaking of baked oatmeal, I'll share the recipe while I'm here.  This is so delicious, filling, and perfect for a quick but wholesome breakfast or late night snack.  The sugar and butter can be cut (I trim both a little bit, but not too much... the level of sweetness is just about right!).  I've been making a tray of this every week when the oven is hot from baking our weekly bread, and the smell of it has had my coworkers drooling and begging for the recipe.

Baked Oatmeal

4.5 cups of rolled oats
1 cup sugar
3 tsp baking powder
2 tsp salt
1 stick of butter, melted
3 eggs, beaten
1.5 cups milk
3 tsp vanilla

Mix the dry ingredients together, then add the wet ingredients.  Spread in a greased 9x13 pan, and bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes or until baked through and golden brown.  Serve warm.  You can pour milk over it when serving to create a more traditional cereal-ish dish, or leave it in its cake-y form and serve with fresh fruit, jam, or applesauce. 

Wednesday's Happy Card

This week's summary of ten things that bring me joy:

1. Getting my taxes and multiple professional license renewals OUT OF THE WAY for 2011. 
2. Kittens cuddling in a pile at the foot of the bed, complete with dream-induced toe and ear twitches.
3. Mid-winter dinners full of summertime foods preserved at their peak: pierogies, sweet corn, string beans, vanilla cupcakes spread with sour cherry preserves, and raspberry mead. 
4. Honeybunch rigging the fishtank up with a remote control operated LED light show.
5. Iron and Wine.
6. Silly chickens roosting the fig tree just because it warmed up to 37 degrees.
7. Making herbal tea for my Honeybunch.
8. Lots of blankets on the bed on cold, cold nights.
9. Baguette.
10. Knowing that after I go back to get my third and final cavity filled, I won't have to return to the dentist for a whole year :)

We have a deal.

The sellers accepted our offer on the house!  What happy news! 
Now if we can just get through the inspections, we'll be walking into our very own home on March 11th.
Honeybunch and I are so happy about this, it's ridiculous.  I'm ready to place our order for fruit and nut trees!!!

Cold!!!

The temperatures over the past few days have gotten down into the single digits around here.  I know that many folks live in much colder climates than ours and probably scoff at anything above 0 degrees, but for us, that's really bloody cold!  I'm accustomed to temperatures in the 20s and 30s, but once it starts dipping below the teens I get nervous.  That kind of cold simply hurts. 

I feel bad for the girls when it gets this cold, but they seem to be handling it very well.  My fingers ache as I open the cold metal latch of the chicken coop in the morning.  I need to thaw and refill their water bucket with hot water by midday.  Everyone gets some extra food, a heavy layer of straw bedding in the coop, and a check for signs of frostbite on the more prominent combs and wattles amongst them.  Some of them have taken to hanging out inside the coop sometimes during the day, but most of them strut around the yard as though nothing is different.  However, Honeybunch noticed that Popcorn, one of our Golden Sexlinks, was standing on one leg, switching back and forth between left and right... it seemed like she was trying to keep her feet off of the cold frozen ground! 

They're calling for another storm to hit our area on Wednesday.  It's difficult to tell how much snow we'll get... according to the weather service, it could be a nasty slush storm, or it could head out to sea and leave us with only a dusting.  I'm hoping for the latter.  Driving to and from work in the bad weather is a harrowing experience, and I have to be there Wednesday night.  A little while back we got a terrible ice storm, and it took me half an hour to chip through the half inch of ice that coated my car from head to tail.  I slid all over the road the next night on my way in as the melt froze again into patches of black ice.  Not fun!

Tonight we are supposed to hear back from the sellers in regards to their acceptance of our offer... I'm really hoping it goes through.  We secured financing, made a fair and reasonable offer, moved up the settlement date as they requested... now if we can just get the place under agreement...

House update

We still haven't gotten the place under agreement, but we're working on it.  The sellers won't take FHA financing, so our initial output of cash is going to be just about double with conventional financing (larger down payment needed, smaller seller's assist permitted).  The sticker shock was pretty severe.  We don't want to completely wipe out all of our savings (or have to dip into our 401ks) to have the cash we need to get into this house.  So, it's going to take some creativity (and major penny-pinching over the next couple of months until settlement), but we believe we can make it work.  We're going to move forward and submit an offer with conventional financing, and hope for the best.  The encouragement and support of our friends and families has been so helpful... this emotional roller-coaster has been somewhat stressful.

So, we continue to hope and plan and crunch numbers and make many phone calls to our real estate agent and our mortgage broker.  It's all going to work out for the best, I know it.