This is the first time in my life that I cannot describe myself as a "student". Even during my breif hiatus from nursing school while I switched schools, I studied under Maia Toll at the Apothecary Garden in her Community Herbalist Training (http://www.theapothecarygarden.com/). Now, I find myself in a somewhat disquieting place in which I feel like I am not moving forward. This under-employed purgatory I am trapped in while I wait to take my state boards and find a nursing job is wearing on my self-image. I am a "do-er", I am constantly in motion, I am a list-maker and a goal-setter. I have defined myself by what I do, and what I aim to do. Now I feel rather aimless, and while I impatiently wonder what I'm going to do next, those long-term ambitious goals of mine aren't getting any closer .
In order to remedy this feeling, I am turning to books. I am accepting this place as an opportunity to seek out cerebral stimulation in the areas of life that have been neglected during my years of "official" study. For as long as I can remember, I have been an avid reader. I recall spending many a sleepless night as a child, hunkered down in my bunk bed with a flashlight and a book. My thirst for books has been quenched over the past several years mostly by textbooks as I studied for nursing school. Since I graduated, I have been enjoying the freedom to read for pleasure once again.
I am currently reading:
-"Odd and the Frost Giants", a new children's book by Neil Gaiman. My boyfriend Jeremiah and I have been taking turns reading chapters aloud to one another. It's adorable, and full of the "omgosh, did he really write that? In a KID'S book?" moments that I've come to expect from Neil Gaiman. Full of Norse mythology, humor and great characters.
-"Hood" by Stephen Lawhead. So far I'm not terribly impressed. It seems to be the classic story of the spoiled good-for-nothing son of royalty being forced into manhood and leadership by tragedy, and the spiritual gurus he meets along his journey. It's just interesting enough to keep me reading it, but I'm not getting lost in it the way I did the "Albion" books.
My current wishlist of books includes:
-"Botany in a Day" by Thomas J. Elpel. This is the go-to botany book that has been recommended to me by many wildcrafters and herbalists. I have always struggled with keying out plants using field guides, and feel like a good basic understanding of the concepts of botany would help. I plan on reading it over the winter to learn the concepts, then again in the spring while using it in practice.
-"Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen" by Christopher McDougall. I heard about this book on NPR when they interviewed the author. It's all about barefoot running in native tribes and in modern times... which is a skill I'd eventually like to learn, as running has always been extremely painful for my joints. After listening to the author's story, I found myself wondering if this pain isn't just a "natural" and unavoidable side effect of running, but rather a result of running shoes that do nothing except force me further away from the natural form of movement my body should be taking when I run.
-"Too Close for Comfort?: Questioning the Intimacy of Today's New Mother-Daughter Relationship" by Susan Shaffer and Linda Gordon. An investigation into the dynamics of the relationships between mothers and daughters nowadays... profiling the different modern archetypes of mothers and how their behaviors shape women's lives.
This book interests me right now not only because of a desire to heal and strengthen my relationship with my own mother. This past summer, my 22 year old cousin died in her sleep. Recently, my family received a letter from her mother (my cousin) with thanks for attending the memorial service. I found it curious that a large focus of the letter was on the "friendship" between mother and daughter, and how they used to go out drinking at bars together and be "mistaken for sisters". This concept of being more of a "friend" than a mother disturbs me, and raises questions about how my generation is going to "mother" their daughters when they lacked a "mother" role model in their own childhoods.
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