The past 24 hours have been magical. We had our annual Burning Man Orphan Party, an event for all of us who are left behind during this week when our friends take the journey out into the desert. This year was more intimate and relaxed than years past, as it seems that more of our people are in Nevada than ever before. I enjoyed the energy of the evening immensely. So often we throw parties and I feel as though I hardly saw anyone in the rush and madness of it all. This year, I got quality time with nearly everyone.
Today we went for a hike up the big hill just a mile or so from our home. In the past three years we've lived out here, Hubbybunch and I have never really explored those woods. It was well worth the steep hike for the view we were rewarded with at the peak. Gorgeous rolling hills, a clear blue sky, and a group of sweaty friends made it the perfect decompression.
Big changes are coming for me, as I have accepted a per diem hospice home care position. I start next week. And, pending a few details that need to be worked out, I am planning on moving to per diem status in the Emergency Department. I kind of hit bottom with my compassion fatigue a few weeks ago, and realized that I absolutely MUST reduce the number of hours I'm spending submerged in that incredibly stressful (and at times, downright toxic) environment. I will continue to lead the council and fulfill all of my extra-curricular obligations there, but the math is telling me that I can work half the hours and get paid the same, PLUS develop the other aspects of myself that have been so sorely neglected.
I got up in the air on the silks for the first time in weeks last night, and it felt incredible. I won't be young, fit and healthy forever... if I'm going to do circus, I have to do it NOW.
Also, a demented old woman tried to bite my fingers off last week.
So that's that.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Thursday, August 07, 2014
Circus, Careers, Cats and Balance
The last year of my life has left me with little time for reflection. I feel as though I have dancing on a set of scales, trying desperately to find a balance between the many aspects of my life that are so important to me.
My career? It's thriving. I have become a Certified Emergency Nurse. I am the Chair of one of our unit's Councils, and find myself in a position of leadership and influence that I don't think I ever expected or wanted. I'm training in the trauma bay as one of our Trauma Core Nurses, a goal of mine for the past three years. My stress level at work has gone up significantly, however... and the reality that I cannot maintain the pace of this full time for the next 40 years is setting in. So I'm looking to go part time, if I can ever find another part time job in the area that I can enjoy... the search continues.
Our finances? Could be better. My car was absolutely DESTROYED in a horrendous hailstorm, which means I now own an AWD car that has towing capabilities (yay!), but I also have a car payment again (boo!). Our water heater sprung a leak and needed replacement. We finally had the chinking replaced and logs stained and sealed on the cabin part of our home, but that used up just about all the savings we had. Somehow, we need to come up with the cash to have our siding replaced (it's falling apart) before winter comes.
Our garden? It's a wreck and a failure. I have had NO time to tend to it and the weeds have taken over. Yet again.
My circus training? Earlier in the summer, things were going GREAT. I was making tremendous progress, and even had a few performances that went really well. Over the past few weeks, things have kind of ground to a halt, and I feel like all the progress I made in my strength, form and flexibility has reversed. I know the only way to fix it is to get back on the training wagon, but it is easier said than done.
Our critters? Well, a feral tortie had a litter under our porch, and we still have one little orange/white kitten who needs to be adopted by some loving soul. That brings the total number of cats in our house to 7. Yeah, that's crazy. But at least they're all healthy and sweet! The chickens have been hiding/eating their eggs, the ducks all disappeared or were eaten this past winter, and Flower, our skunk, had to have $500 worth of dental surgery... but she has recovered nicely and is herself again.
Household stuff? I've only recently started attempting to home cook healthy meals again... for a long while, we were living on bagels, sushi and thai takeout. Trying to reprioritize our nutrition is again taking some serious effort and time. There are still dishes in the sink.
The struggle continues, as I try my very hardest to juggle ALL of the things with only two hands. Someday I'll find a way to be a fit, calm, well-fed part-time trauma and part-time office nurse and circus artist who lives in a clean house with a husband who gets enough attention and a bountiful garden and a balanced schedule that allows for sleep, training, time with friends, time alone, time for school, and time for crafting/journaling/voice lessons/baby goats.
My career? It's thriving. I have become a Certified Emergency Nurse. I am the Chair of one of our unit's Councils, and find myself in a position of leadership and influence that I don't think I ever expected or wanted. I'm training in the trauma bay as one of our Trauma Core Nurses, a goal of mine for the past three years. My stress level at work has gone up significantly, however... and the reality that I cannot maintain the pace of this full time for the next 40 years is setting in. So I'm looking to go part time, if I can ever find another part time job in the area that I can enjoy... the search continues.
Our finances? Could be better. My car was absolutely DESTROYED in a horrendous hailstorm, which means I now own an AWD car that has towing capabilities (yay!), but I also have a car payment again (boo!). Our water heater sprung a leak and needed replacement. We finally had the chinking replaced and logs stained and sealed on the cabin part of our home, but that used up just about all the savings we had. Somehow, we need to come up with the cash to have our siding replaced (it's falling apart) before winter comes.
Our garden? It's a wreck and a failure. I have had NO time to tend to it and the weeds have taken over. Yet again.
My circus training? Earlier in the summer, things were going GREAT. I was making tremendous progress, and even had a few performances that went really well. Over the past few weeks, things have kind of ground to a halt, and I feel like all the progress I made in my strength, form and flexibility has reversed. I know the only way to fix it is to get back on the training wagon, but it is easier said than done.
Our critters? Well, a feral tortie had a litter under our porch, and we still have one little orange/white kitten who needs to be adopted by some loving soul. That brings the total number of cats in our house to 7. Yeah, that's crazy. But at least they're all healthy and sweet! The chickens have been hiding/eating their eggs, the ducks all disappeared or were eaten this past winter, and Flower, our skunk, had to have $500 worth of dental surgery... but she has recovered nicely and is herself again.
Household stuff? I've only recently started attempting to home cook healthy meals again... for a long while, we were living on bagels, sushi and thai takeout. Trying to reprioritize our nutrition is again taking some serious effort and time. There are still dishes in the sink.
The struggle continues, as I try my very hardest to juggle ALL of the things with only two hands. Someday I'll find a way to be a fit, calm, well-fed part-time trauma and part-time office nurse and circus artist who lives in a clean house with a husband who gets enough attention and a bountiful garden and a balanced schedule that allows for sleep, training, time with friends, time alone, time for school, and time for crafting/journaling/voice lessons/baby goats.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Gratitude for frozen pipes.
This has been a brutal winter here in Pennsylvania. After several years of relatively mild weather during the dark months of the year, nature is reminding us that she is unpredictable and wild still.
Given that Hubbybunch and I heat our home exclusively with one hard-working Woodstock soapstone woodstove, trying to keep the house from freezing is a full-time job on days like today. Unfortunately, our efforts to keep our pipes from freezing last night (turning the water off entirely and draining the pipes) backfired, and the damn supply pipe coming up from the well through the ground in the basement froze instead. We had no running water whatsoever. Not good.
So, we rigged a space heater under a sleeping bag tent over that section of pipe, brought our coffee to the freezing cold basement, and watched it like a hawk so we wouldn't burn our house down. It worked! The pipe thawed, and flow was restored... mostly. We have every faucet in the house dripping, and I'm home today and have been feeding the stove hourly to try to warm things up in here. It may freeze again tonight when the temperature plummets to zero again. But we'll deal with it as it comes. The hot water pipe in our kitchen wall is still frozen, as it the cold water to the toilet in the adjacent powder room.
This sort of thing makes me want to hunt down the Johnny-homeowner who built that section of the house and smash his face in. I suppose they decided that insulating the exterior walls wasn't that important. They're completely hollow. This spring/summer, we're going to have to rip open that entire side of the house, install insulation, and replace the siding. We'd LOVE to get another small woodstove set up in there as well. Where we'll find the cash for that kind of project I don't know. But it has to happen before next winter, somehow.
Regardless of the cold, the anxiety, and the interruption of our normally scheduled programming due to plumbing emergencies, we're surviving... and I don't regret this path we've chosen. This shitty little old broken house might be costing us a fortune in repairs and lost sleep, but it's OURS. I'd rather be blow-drying my frozen pipes than dreaming up ways to murder a noisy, inconsiderate neighbor... or wishing with all my heart that I had just a little spot somewhere to plant some carrots.
Given that Hubbybunch and I heat our home exclusively with one hard-working Woodstock soapstone woodstove, trying to keep the house from freezing is a full-time job on days like today. Unfortunately, our efforts to keep our pipes from freezing last night (turning the water off entirely and draining the pipes) backfired, and the damn supply pipe coming up from the well through the ground in the basement froze instead. We had no running water whatsoever. Not good.
So, we rigged a space heater under a sleeping bag tent over that section of pipe, brought our coffee to the freezing cold basement, and watched it like a hawk so we wouldn't burn our house down. It worked! The pipe thawed, and flow was restored... mostly. We have every faucet in the house dripping, and I'm home today and have been feeding the stove hourly to try to warm things up in here. It may freeze again tonight when the temperature plummets to zero again. But we'll deal with it as it comes. The hot water pipe in our kitchen wall is still frozen, as it the cold water to the toilet in the adjacent powder room.
This sort of thing makes me want to hunt down the Johnny-homeowner who built that section of the house and smash his face in. I suppose they decided that insulating the exterior walls wasn't that important. They're completely hollow. This spring/summer, we're going to have to rip open that entire side of the house, install insulation, and replace the siding. We'd LOVE to get another small woodstove set up in there as well. Where we'll find the cash for that kind of project I don't know. But it has to happen before next winter, somehow.
Regardless of the cold, the anxiety, and the interruption of our normally scheduled programming due to plumbing emergencies, we're surviving... and I don't regret this path we've chosen. This shitty little old broken house might be costing us a fortune in repairs and lost sleep, but it's OURS. I'd rather be blow-drying my frozen pipes than dreaming up ways to murder a noisy, inconsiderate neighbor... or wishing with all my heart that I had just a little spot somewhere to plant some carrots.
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