Thursday, August 07, 2014

Circus, Careers, Cats and Balance

The last year of my life has left me with little time for reflection.   I feel as though I have dancing on a set of scales, trying desperately to find a balance between the many aspects of my life that are so important to me.

My career?  It's thriving.  I have become a Certified Emergency Nurse.  I am the Chair of one of our unit's Councils, and find myself in a position of leadership and influence that I don't think I ever expected or wanted.  I'm training in the trauma bay as one of our Trauma Core Nurses, a goal of mine for the past three years.  My stress level at work has gone up significantly, however... and the reality that I cannot maintain the pace of this full time for the next 40 years is setting in.  So I'm looking to go part time, if I can ever find another part time job in the area that I can enjoy... the search continues.

Our finances?  Could be better.  My car was absolutely DESTROYED in a horrendous hailstorm, which means I now own an AWD car that has towing capabilities (yay!), but I also have a car payment again (boo!).  Our water heater sprung a leak and needed replacement.  We finally had the chinking replaced and logs stained and sealed on the cabin part of our home, but that used up just about all the savings we had. Somehow, we need to come up with the cash to have our siding replaced (it's falling apart) before winter comes.

Our garden?  It's a wreck and a failure.  I have had NO time to tend to it and the weeds have taken over.  Yet again.

My circus training?  Earlier in the summer, things were going GREAT.  I was making tremendous progress, and even had a few performances that went really well.  Over the past few weeks, things have kind of ground to a halt, and I feel like all the progress I made in my strength, form and flexibility has reversed.  I know the only way to fix it is to get back on the training wagon, but it is easier said than done.

Our critters?  Well, a feral tortie had a litter under our porch, and we still have one little orange/white kitten who needs to be adopted by some loving soul.  That brings the total number of cats in our house to 7.  Yeah, that's crazy.  But at least they're all healthy and sweet!  The chickens have been hiding/eating their eggs, the ducks all disappeared or were eaten this past winter, and Flower, our skunk, had to have $500 worth of dental surgery... but she has recovered nicely and is herself again.

Household stuff?  I've only recently started attempting to home cook healthy meals again... for a long while, we were living on bagels, sushi and thai takeout.  Trying to reprioritize our nutrition is again taking some serious effort and time.  There are still dishes in the sink.

The struggle continues, as I try my very hardest to juggle ALL of the things with only two hands.  Someday I'll find a way to be a fit, calm, well-fed part-time trauma and part-time office nurse and circus artist who lives in a clean house with a husband who gets enough attention and a bountiful garden and a balanced schedule that allows for sleep, training, time with friends, time alone, time for school, and time for crafting/journaling/voice lessons/baby goats.

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