Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Choices

I have many of them in front of me, and I'm feeling the pressure tonight.

I've mentally and emotionally committed to going back to school.  Okay.  That's not really that tremendous.  I've always figured I'd go back to get my BSN.  But what about after that?? 

Each time I've gone on a job interview, and I've been asked about my long term goals, I've given the same answer: "Eventually I want to get my master's degree in nursing, ideally a dual degree to become a Certified Nurse Midwife and a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner".

It sounds good, right?
I feel called to women's health... and I feel passionate about natural childbirth and advocating for women who want to have a birth experience with minimal medical intervention.  It means a lot to me.  Some people find this strange, given that Hubbybunch and I made a very final decision that we won't have children of our own.  Why would a woman who has no desire to birth her own children feel so strongly about the birth experiences of others?  I don't have a good answer to that question.  I just do.

However, it is very hard for me to say with absolutely certainty that I really want to go down that path with my higher education.  This is in part because I have yet to work in women's healthcare.  My work in the ER brings me a bit closer, as I occasionally get to care for pregnant women, auscultate for fetal heart tones, etc... but I am very unlikely to actually care for a woman in active labor.  Whenever such a patient comes in the front door, we send them straight up to the labor and delivery department.  Unfortunately, there are absolutely NO JOBS in labor and delivery for nurses who have not worked in that field for at least a decade. 

A master's degree is a huge investment of my time, energy, and money.  I'd like to know for sure what returns I can expect before making that sort of decision.  And if there are no jobs in L&D now, why should I assume that I'll be able to find gainful employment after I complete my degree?  I don't want to spend the rest of my life performing PAP smears in a doctor's office.  That isn't where I want to end up after years of study and thousands of dollars.

I could, of course, simply remain a staff nurse.  There is no shame in that... but it does limit me in my future prospects. 

2 comments:

S said...

How do you feel about pursuing the lay midwife path? There are certification processes like certified professional midwife, that are less expensive, but extremely in depth as far as training and knowledge base. Your nursing degree would certainly offer even more benefit to you. However as you likely know homebirth midwifery falls into that grey areas of sort of a-legal status in this state. Fine until it's not fine, legally. This seems to be a time of pondering and recalibrating for many of us. I am feeling the same in my life..

Gelfling said...

Lay midwifery opens me up to all kinds of lawsuits, and unfortunately in PA you're right that the laws are getting more and more aggressive.